Misscariage

Well this is a post on some of the feeling's I had...



last night I got a call from my sister letting me know her sister in law's baby no longer has a heart beat and to be honest, I wanted to cry because it brought back my own feeling's and even though now , I am six months preggies and sometimes wonder how on earth I would cope with two. I am sure I will get my strength from the one above.



When I went to the Doctor the first time and he told me that I would probably miscarry I was devestated and all I could do was cry. It was tough but in all that there was an uncertainty what if the scan was wrong what if it was just to soon to tell.So I was hopeful that all would work out ok.

Soon after seeing the doctor and him preparing me for the worst.... I started having cramps and the spotting increased and I told Colin that I believe I am having a miscarriage. I could see by the look on his face that he was upset but tried to be strong and said dont worry there is nothing you can do about it.I would not take any medication as I was concerned about what if I do not misccarry.



When I went to the doctor and he told me that I did indeed have a misscarriage and that I would have to come back to make sure it had all cleared naturally or I would have to have an D & C which I was not keen on. What happens if my baby was still fine and that there had been a mistake. So I made the discion to let it pass naturally and hoped it would do so fairly quickly.

I went back to the gynaecologist a month later and all had cleared naturally but emotionlly I broke down at work the one day. I could not talk to anyone I just had to get out of there. I spent a few days at home mourning the loss of my precious baby.

I told Colin that was it that I could not go through that pain again and that I would rather just be happy with my gorgeous boy. In time I changed my mind and am so happy about that.

I felt as though God gave me the strength to deal the pain and all of the mixed emotions one has.